Synopsis

(Note: This was the original synopsis prepared when I began writing the play. Some of the scenes have been deleted [See Deleted scenes] and not all the characters mentioned made it to the final version of the script.)

This is the story of the international Human Shield volunteers who went to Iraq between January and March, 2003, in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent the invasion by Anglo-American forces. It is told through the eyes of HUSSEIN SCHWEYK, a middle-aged café owner, the grandson of Schweik, the hero of Jaroslav Hasek’s satirical character who also appeared in Brecht’s Schweyk in the Second World War, and Schweyk’s son,  HASSAN, who helps in the café.

The Shields are always squabbling among themselves and with the Iraqi authorities, as war gets nearer. Five of them are deported, including the Shields’ leader, KEITH, an American ex-Marine,  JIM, an older American, veteran of progressive movements for many years, JOHN, an Australian, PEDRO, a seasoned American campaigner and Zapatista, MUSTAFA, a Turk, and PABLO, a fiery Spanish anarchist, who organises a sit-in at a hospital after the authorities refuse to allow Shields to protect medical facilities. Other Shields include SIAMA, a British Muslim woman, SID, a British punk, MICHELLE, a chic Parisienne who has become the mistress of a high Iraqi official, FREDERICK an old guitar-picking Englishman, and JOSEPH, a Belgian mystic with an intense gaze.

Schweyk is something of a Vicar of Bray, always going along with the powers that be, whether they be Saddam or George W. Bush. Nevertheless he gives shelter to Keith and his fellow-deportees when they are in hiding from the Mukhabarat, the Iraqi secret police, though he successfully persuades them to give themselves up.

Frederick has a crush on KRISTINA, a Slovenian Shield who was involved in protecting Keith and the other deportees. She has been picked up by the Mukhabarat but released after questioning. He suggests they communicate in writing in case their room is bugged, but to explain away their long silences as they write messages to each other, they should pretend to be making love. Of course, he wishes they were.

The bombing starts. The authorities offer Kalashnikovs to the Shields to help defend the sites where they’ve been deployed, but instead some go to help in hospitals.

When the US tanks arrive, Schweyk is out on the street to welcome them and join the crowd pulling down the statue of Saddam. He is disgusted to find most of them speak Arabic with American accents. He remonstrates with Siama, who confronts the tanks with a “Go Home” placard, but his feelings turn to anger when he finds the dead body of his son, Hassan, in the street. He takes a picture of Saddam from under the counter and wonders if he’ll end up putting it back on the wall.

All the Shields have gone home except Michelle who has found herself an American protector. Schweyk is approached by a group who want to use his café to plan guerrilla operations against the occupying forces. He agrees, but hangs an American flag over the bar just in case.